My roommates are the worst at getting hot single girls to come when we have a house party, even when they are offering up free booze on the lawn. Don’t get me wrong they can get girls, just not the kind you are going to want to wake up beside the next morning. We live right off campus too, so the girls are always jogging by the house. Teasing us with their little short shorts… I can remember nights staying up with our huge dry erase board trying to come up with ideas for different house parties. Taking turns writing ideas on the board, coming up with ways to get more girls to come. Toga parties are classic, beach theme parties are a nice way to get girls in their bikinis, and costume parties can come back to haunt your dreams. So for one of our last house parties of the year, we just had the “bring some people and drink” party. We went the day before, and started clearing the shelves at the local liquor store. Spending another one of my roomies mother’s paychecks as usual. My girlfriend had told my roommate that she would bring him a friend, so he was extra excited about the night. Well the sun was setting and people were showing up at the house, most of them drunk already.
Once my girlfriend’s friend had arrived it was my civil duty to get her and my roommate wasted. Jell-O shot after ke g stand but not before the jager bomb. It was getting late and they were way past faded all over each other, heading to the bedroom. I went to the bathroom and the door was locked, “They didn’t even make it to the bedroom” I thought to myself. I’m stumbling around over bodies talking to people with blurred faces passing the time so they can finish. My girlfriend’s friend comes out of the bathroom, I give her a nod and wait to high five my friend as he walks out behind her. He wasn’t there. All that met me was a strong fowl scent.
I went into the bathroom to make sure that my buddy wasn’t passed out in the bathroom in his own feces. I held my arm over my face as I reached to flush the toilet. Worst case scenario, my hand is met with a sticky brown substance. “No f’in way man” I thought. It was as I had feared, my girl’s friend had placed a version of her own upper decker in the bathroom. I had never seen anything so horrifying. The toilet was c overed. The walls were covered. It was as if her a** had been massacred. I go out to try and find my friend, and to save him from the upper decker girl, but it was too late. He had already taken her to his room. It took us a whole day to get rid of the mess she left us, and it still haunts me in my dreams. My buddy saved the chick’s name in his phone as upper decker girl’, and never answered her calls again. We could never get past the time she left us an ‘upper decker’ in our upstairs bathroom.
